Fat Vampire
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After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.
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Age
Add Age Suitabilitymiguelloza thinks this title is suitable for All Ages
E_Kazan thinks this title is suitable for 14 years and over
Summary
Add a SummaryThe book "Fat Vampire" is about a 15 year old vampire named Doug Lee trying to go back to his normal teen life. Doug was just trying to lose some weight and suddenly one night a vampire named Victor attacked him. He then began to experience some vampire abilities such as moving in speed and turning into a bat. Doug began to fall for an Indian exchange student, Sajal, who he met on the first day of school. They started hanging out since then and the more time they spent with each other, the more Doug liked her. He was worried that he will attack her just like how Victor attacked him. From that thought, Doug began to search for answers for if it's possible for a vampire to turn back human. So far he's heard that in order to turn back human you would have to kill the vampire that attacked you. Doug couldn't kill Victor because they began to develop a friendly bond. He then realized that another way he can turn back human is to terminate Victor's attacker. When both boys came across Victor's attacker, Doug began to realize that it wouldn't seem right to end another person's life for his own selfish needs. He decided that it was best to tell Sajal the truth. When Doug told her, she didn't believe it until he turned into a bat. She didn't fear him, but she was interested. Doug's life may never be the same again, but at least it will never be dull.
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .
The back: Doug Lee is undead quite by accident--attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under the cover of night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her--hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated--it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.
Quotes
Add a Quote“I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.”
“"I'm not saying I want you to do it," said Jay. "It's just...hard to see you hurting so much. You could just drink a little of my blood, just to see--" "Uh-uh," said Mr.Gonzales as he loomed suddenly over their desks. "No inglés. En español, por favor." Jay glaned in the teacher's direction, then stared at his hands. "Um...Podria usted...beber un poco de mi...sangre? Es correcto? Sangre?" "Sangre es 'blood,'" "Si," said Jay. Doug pretended to read his book. Mr. Gonzales coughed. "You're supposed to be pretending to buy pineapples," he said.
"What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay.
"Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN." Doug stiffened. Jay sounded cray. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.
...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?
it smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long
Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing up.
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Add a CommentAn okay novel. It had a good premise, but bad execution. Also, I got very annoyed with the main characters and I just did not want to root for them or like them.
This book could have been more original. It seems like these days, every book has vampires. It wasn't very well written, and the polt almost wasn't there. I don't recommend this book.
This was too funny for me! I loved the humor, the logic, the sarcasm, and the characters. Never coming of age my butt!
If your looking for a book full of humour and vampires, well keep looking. I was expecting this book to be amazing and hilarious, mostly because it had a really cool cover, and all I got was 324 pages of dissapointment. It didn't even have an ending! And okay, with some books it works, but this one didn't end with a cliff hanger. Instead it ended with about five different possible endings which just about ruined it for me. Yes, I'll admit it was funny at times but not enough to make the book 3 stars. It took forever for me to read it, and near the middle they introduced new characters completely out of the blue that made me wonder if I was reading the same book. DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE COOL COVER!
Have to agree with the other reviewers: funny in parts, thought provoking in a few others, but mostly disappointing.
Funny!
like everyone else said i thought this book was going to be funny and good but it was pretty bad instead. they didnt even end it properly!!! I would NOT reccomend this to anyone.
This book was terrible. i admit it was funny here and there but you need more than that for a book like a climax! (did i miss spell that or does that word just look wrongly spelled on purpose?) Rex coulda made the story longer or turned it into a series! (is it a series?) i'd recamend people read this but i read alot of good books so this isn't worth my notice but i think i'll read another of Rex's books anyways mabye they will have a ending.
Page 56
Slow moving book, most of the action takes place within the 3 final chapters. Took too long to introduce characters and seemed to introduce so many that you cannot adjust to caring for one of them. The title 'fat vampire' is being played fast & loose here too - as the majorty of the book is more focused around 'misfit high schoolers'. Too bad - was truly looking forward to reading this.