After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.
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miguelloza thinks this title is suitable for All Ages
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The book "Fat Vampire" is about a 15 year old vampire named Doug Lee trying to go back to his normal teen life. Doug was just trying to lose some weight and suddenly one night a vampire named Victor attacked him. He then began to experience some vampire abilities such as moving in speed and turning into a bat. Doug began to fall for an Indian exchange student, Sajal, who he met on the first day of school. They started hanging out since then and the more time they spent with each other, the more Doug liked her. He was worried that he will attack her just like how Victor attacked him. From that thought, Doug began to search for answers for if it's possible for a vampire to turn back human. So far he's heard that in order to turn back human you would have to kill the vampire that attacked you. Doug couldn't kill Victor because they began to develop a friendly bond. He then realized that another way he can turn back human is to terminate Victor's attacker. When both boys came across Victor's attacker, Doug began to realize that it wouldn't seem right to end another person's life for his own selfish needs. He decided that it was best to tell Sajal the truth. When Doug told her, she didn't believe it until he turned into a bat. She didn't fear him, but she was interested. Doug's life may never be the same again, but at least it will never be dull.
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .
The back: Doug Lee is undead quite by accident--attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under the cover of night. But it's just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her--hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated--it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings.
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“I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.”
“"I'm not saying I want you to do it," said Jay. "It's just...hard to see you hurting so much. You could just drink a little of my blood, just to see--" "Uh-uh," said Mr.Gonzales as he loomed suddenly over their desks. "No inglés. En español, por favor." Jay glaned in the teacher's direction, then stared at his hands. "Um...Podria usted...beber un poco de mi...sangre? Es correcto? Sangre?" "Sangre es 'blood,'" "Si," said Jay. Doug pretended to read his book. Mr. Gonzales coughed. "You're supposed to be pretending to buy pineapples," he said.
"What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay.
"Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN." Doug stiffened. Jay sounded cray. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.
...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What does that even mean?
it smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long