From the critics
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Ratso Rizzo (cooking, to Joe Buck): "The two basic items... necessary to sustain life... are sunshine... and coconut milk... Did you know that? That's a fact... In Florida, you got a terrific amount of coconut trees, there. In fact, I think they even got 'em in the, uh, gas stations over there... And ladies! You know that Miami you got, uh... Are you listenin' to me? You got, more ladies, in Miami, than in any resort area in the country, there... I mean per capita on a given day, there's probably, uh, three hundred of 'em on the beach... In fact, you can't even, uh, scratch yourself without gettin' a bellybutton, there, up the old kazoo, there..."
Ratso Rizzo (jaywalking with Joe Buck, almost getting hit by a taxi): "HEY! I'M WALKIN' HERE!! (slams on the hood) I'M WALKIN' HERE!! Up yours, you son of a b*tch! You don't talk to me that way!" (taxi blows horn, leaves, Ratso flips him off) (to Joe) "Don't worry about that. Actually, that ain't a bad way to pick up insurance, you know..."
Joe Buck: "Uh, pardon me ma'am. Uh... I'm brand spankin' new in this here town, and I was, uh, I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty." Cass: "You were hopin' to get a look at what?" Joe Buck: "Uh, Statue of Liberty." Cass: "It's up in Central Park, taking a leak... If you hurry up, you'll catch the supper show." (walks away)
Ralph: "Aren't you comin' to work?" Joe Buck: "I guess not, Ralph. Hell, I just come to collect my pay. Y'know, I'm headed up East." Ralph: "You're headin' up East?!?" Joe Buck: "I thought I'd say goodbye to ya. Just come to look around a little bit, you know?" (waitress yells out an order, Joe sticks his hand out to shake Ralph's) "Well... Goodbye." Ralph: "What are you gonna do back East?" Joe Buck: "A lotta rich women back there, Ralph... Beggin' for it. Payin' for it, too." Ralph: "Yeah?" Joe Buck: "Yeah. Hell, yeah! And the men are mostly tooty fruities!..."
Joe Buck: I like the way I look. Makes me feel good, it does. And women like me, goddammit. Hell, the only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'. Women go crazy for me, that's a really true fact! Ratso, hell! Crazy Annie they had to send her away!
Ratso Rizzo: Then, how come you ain't scored once the whole time you been in New York?
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.
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