The Sociopath next Door
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Who is the devil you know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of
Who is the devil you know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
Baker & Taylor
A practicing psychotherapist takes a hard look at the sociopaths--individuals with an antisocial personality disorder who possess no conscience or sense of guilt or shame--that we encounter in everyday life, describing the characteristics of such individuals, how to recognize them for what they are, and how to protect oneself from sociopaths. 40,000 first printing.
Baker
& Taylor
Examines the sociopaths--individuals with an antisocial personality disorder who possess no conscience or sense of guilt--that we encounter in everyday life, describing how to recognize such individuals and how to protect oneself from them.
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Add a SummaryGoodreads Summary: Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own? In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too. We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win. The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game. It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
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Add a CommentKinda scary, eh? Ravening aliens lurking among us.This book deals more with the relatively invisible sociopaths embedded in our community.Interesting facts and insights.Author could have pared down some of her VERY detailed case studies.
its easy to be paranoid of anyone we believe does not have a conscience to be a sociopath, and a conscience is somewhat a controversial topic anyhow. perhaps, with freuds theory, it isnt the conscience they lack, but the superego, they cannot control their id, and inner impulses, a lack of the development of the ego and superego could be a sociopath.
This is a good book on outlining sociopathology, but not strong on how to protect yourself from them.
Conscience is a god motivator, but so too is too much forgiveness. 13 rules for dealing with sociopaths is given: accepting that some people are just bad, follow your instinct if in doubt, in any relationship consider the rule of 3's where three lies, three broken promises, three neglected responsibilities and that's it, question character of who like to dominate others, suspect flattery, refine concepts of respect and do not be intimidated by threats by politician types, do not intrigue, avoid suspected sociopaths, question your pitying stance after all respecting others who actually are kind and courageous, do not try to redeem the unredeemable, never agree to help a sociopath hide their transgressions, do not be convinced that humanity is debased or a failure, living well is your best revenge against these types. This is an excellent read, and very telling of the kinds of things happening in Edmonton, Toronto and Aurora Co.
fascinating topic, kind of a dull book.
One of the most meaningful books in my life. Wish I'd found it sooner. Despite not sharing the razzle-dazzle personality type -- I've discovered that my estranged husband (of 47) years is a sociopath, and that all the effort I put into "reaching" him & humanizing him could NEVER have had any effect. No one can imagine how freeing this discovery is. The chaos was not my fault.
Excellent understanding of sociopaths, narrisists and other possible mental disorders.
I recommend this book to anyone who wishes to protect themselves and their loved ones from falling victim to the ruthless among us. It's tremendously helpful to understand that sociopaths are not necessarily all like Ted Bundy, but can be petty service professionals, cutthroat people at work, the spouse who will do anything to avoid working, or the abrasive neighbor who delights in creating trouble for others. There is an excellent chapter on how to recognize and protect yourself from a sociopath. Suspect flattery. Beware people who actively seek your pity. Don't try to redeem the unredeemable. Don't keep their secrets for them, as others deserve to be warned. My only regret is that the author spent too much time discussing why it is better to have a conscience even though she already established that people of conscience cannot even imagine not having one, much less will it away. I would have preferred more case studies to help us recognize sociopathic behavior.
For victims of a sociopath (or psychopath), the book provides some insight into the shallow end that most sociopaths will experience in their lives. The book is well worth reading.
The best information in this book is how to spot a liar with no conscience – the pity play. Beware of the liar who uses the “poor little me” act to gain sympathy and supporters.