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The Sociopath Next Door

The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us
Stout, Martha, 1953- (Book - 2005 )
Average Rating: 4 stars out of 5.
The Sociopath Next Door
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Random House, Inc.

Who is the devil you know?

Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.



Baker & Taylor
A practicing psychotherapist takes a hard look at the sociopaths--individuals with an antisocial personality disorder who possess no conscience or sense of guilt or shame--that we encounter in everyday life, describing the characteristics of such individuals, how to recognize them for what they are, and how to protect oneself from sociopaths. 40,000 first printing.

Baker
& Taylor

Examines the sociopaths--individuals with an antisocial personality disorder who possess no conscience or sense of guilt--that we encounter in everyday life, describing how to recognize such individuals and how to protect oneself from them.

Authors: Stout, Martha, 1953-
Statement of Responsibility: Martha Stout
Title: The sociopath next door
the ruthless versus the rest of us
Publisher: New York : Broadway Books, c2005
Characteristics: xiii, 241 p. ; 25 cm.
Bibliography: Includes bibliographical references (p. 219-232) and index
Subject Headings: Psychopaths Antisocial personality disorders
Topical Term: Psychopaths
Antisocial personality disorders
LCCN: 2004051874
ISBN: 076791581X
0767915828
Branch Call Number: 616.8582 S
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Aug 24, 2014
  • 650Hawk rated this: 4 stars out of 5.

Good book on the subject with maybe too much fill in text but I realize this is not the DSM-5. Should be a must read for everyone to help them get through life maybe a bit easier.

Aug 01, 2014
  • commercesd rated this: 5 stars out of 5.

This is the best book I have ever read on the subject. It thoroughly covers just how a sociopath is able to manipulate people in a very subtle way, usually by altering information. I really wish I had read this book early in my life. It would have saved me a lot of illness, pain, heartache and grief.

Aug 20, 2013
  • esther_12031211 rated this: 5 stars out of 5.

This book is so true. There are too many of these jerks residing in this country on this planet. This book is genius.

Jan 29, 2013
  • ScorchingSun rated this: 2.5 stars out of 5.

Kinda scary, eh? Ravening aliens lurking among us.This book deals more with the relatively invisible sociopaths embedded in our
community.Interesting facts and insights.Author could have pared down some of her VERY detailed case studies.

its easy to be paranoid of anyone we believe does not have a conscience to be a sociopath, and a conscience is somewhat a controversial topic anyhow. perhaps, with freuds theory, it isnt the conscience they lack, but the superego, they cannot control their id, and inner impulses, a lack of the development of the ego and superego could be a sociopath.

Aug 28, 2012
  • DellaV rated this: 4 stars out of 5.

This is a good book on outlining sociopathology, but not strong on how to protect yourself from them.

Jul 22, 2012
  • delfon rated this: 5 stars out of 5.

Conscience is a god motivator, but so too is too much forgiveness.
13 rules for dealing with sociopaths is given: accepting that some people are just bad, follow your instinct if in doubt, in any relationship consider the rule of 3's where three lies, three broken promises, three neglected responsibilities and that's it, question character of who like to dominate others, suspect flattery, refine concepts of respect and do not be intimidated by threats by politician types, do not intrigue, avoid suspected sociopaths, question your pitying stance after all respecting others who actually are kind and courageous, do not try to redeem the unredeemable, never agree to help a sociopath hide their transgressions, do not be convinced that humanity is debased or a failure, living well is your best revenge against these types. This is an excellent read, and very telling of the kinds of things happening in Edmonton, Toronto and Aurora Co.

Apr 25, 2012
  • Winnipeg1 rated this: 2.5 stars out of 5.

fascinating topic, kind of a dull book.

Aug 17, 2011
  • Only_Connect rated this: 5 stars out of 5.

One of the most meaningful books in my life. Wish I'd found it sooner. Despite not sharing the razzle-dazzle personality type -- I've discovered that my estranged husband (of 47) years is a sociopath, and that all the effort I put into "reaching" him & humanizing him could NEVER have had any effect. No one can imagine how freeing this discovery is. The chaos was not my fault.

May 02, 2011
  • nutty7688 rated this: 4.5 stars out of 5.

Excellent understanding of sociopaths, narrisists and other possible mental disorders.

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Dec 19, 2011
  • Cinette rated this: 4 stars out of 5.

Goodreads Summary: Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband?
Your sadistic high school gym teacher?
Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings?
The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?

In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

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"When deciding whom to trust, bear in mind that the combination of consistently bad or egregiously inadequate behavior with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a conscienceless person's forehead as you will ever be given." p.109

"...I recommend that you severely challenge your need to be polite in absolutely all situations. For normal adults in our culture, being what we think of as "civilized" is like a reflex, and often we find ourselves being automatically decorous even when someone has enraged us, repeatedly lied to us, or figuratively stabbed us in the back. Sociopaths take huge advantage of this automatic courtesy in exploitive situations. Do not be afraid to be unsmiling and calmly to the point." p.161

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Version pocillo (pocillo) Last updated 2014/09/02 11:42