"Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube is a Gelatinous Cube?" - Simon

"As long as everyone's wearing their own pants." "I see I have come in on a fascinating moment in the conversation."

"Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "if you were a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "yes," said Jace. "or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats."

"We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own." - Simon

"Oh, good. You're starting to talk about yourself in the third person. That's not a sign of impending megalomania or anything." - Simon to Raphael

"Hey," said Jace. who was sitting on an overturned speaker, looking at his cellphone, "do you want to see a photo of Alec and Magnus in Berlin?" "Not really," said Simon. "Magnus is wearing lederhosen." "And yet, still no."

"You and your name-dropping. 'I knew Michael'. 'I knew Sammael'. 'The angel Gabriel did my hair'. It's like I'm with the Band with biblical figures."

"He looks," Simon had once said to Isabelle, "like he's thinking about something deep and meaningful, but if you ask him what it is, he'll punch you in the face."

It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense.

"You're the first Shadowhunter I've ever met." “That’s too bad,” said Jace, “since all the others you meet from now on will be a terrible letdown."

"So what was that all about?" "I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango." "She said that?" Jace shrugged. "Yeah, then she gave me her number."

"Vampire mojo strikes again." -Simon

"In theory, when you're done with training, you should be able to kick a hole in a wall or knock out a moose with a single punch." "'I would never hit a moose' said Clary. 'They're endangered.'"